I know I know, it has been a while again. It seems as the kids get older I find less time to be in a quiet place by myself in order to be able to think long enough to type on here. Kaytlin finished her first year of preschool and is now in summer classes at Cornerstone Pediatric Rahab. She has gone 3 times now and still freaks out when I drop her off. She is the only girl there too lol. The first time went quite well, the 2nd time she knew what was going to happen and she screamed the entire first have of the 2 1/2 hours!! At that point it was hard for me to take her back again, I feel like I am betraying her trust because she doesn't understand that it's okay for mommy to not be with her 24/7. The last time she went she stopped crying right after I left, but I don't think she has ever held on to me that tight in her life. On one hand it feels so good that I make her feel that secure, then on the other it makes me feel as if I am holding her back from independance by staying home with the kids.

She is doing really well there, the only issue they have is the one that everyone has, she has problems transitioning from one activity to another. The time from one to the next is the confusion, frustration, and sometimes breakdowns. She gets quite upset because it is hard for her. I think that is why she is having such a hard time with this school. She keeps telling me it isn't her school and that she wants to go back to her other school. I try to tell her that no one is there right now but that we will be able to go back over there soon, but as any three year old wouldn't she doesn't get that part.

Tonight when I put her to bed all I wanted to do was hold her as close to me and as tight in my arms as I could. It was one of those nights that you look at your baby and tears well up in your eyes because you cannot believe how much you love this child in your arms, even though you get soooo frustrated with them just about daily.

Her and Robbie are having issues with being violent right now. Hitting, kicking, and pushing are the 3 big ones. She thinks she is his mom and should spank him for EVERYTHING, even when he isn't being naughty but she wants to pretend at that moment out of the blue that he is being naughty lol. They both want to kick the dogs because they think it is funny that the dogs are growling at them, well actually just my minpin who has never hurt a fly. He is almost 9 years old now though and I really don't want them thinking it is okay to kick dogs. They get time outs for that one, yet still it doesn't seem to want to sink in that it isn't okay.

I love always getting such good feedback about her and how helpful she is lol. She has always wanted to be the teacher's helper no matter what kind of class. Even in gymnastics she wanted to stand in front of the class with the teacher to sing the songs that they sang or when they were doing dances she wanted to stand up front. Now in her classes I was told she is a good influence for the other children because she is showing them how to share, now why can she not do that at home lmbo! Funny how they are willing to show how well you have taught them when you are not around, sneaky little things!

That is all for now, things are getting better, slowly, but better so I don't care how slow. Oh one more thing before I go. The other day in her new school kaytlin made a catepillar with the letters of her name on it. Once they were finished she looked at it and said, "My mom will love this." and started crying all sentimental and missing me! How awesome is that!!