Okay this is going to be about Kayt, but I also need a little vent here, which will make any other mom know they are not alone in these feelings I am having. First on my precious girl though.

Today we went to get her EEG done. She did wonderfully, she was very compliant. I kept her weighted blanket on her lap and also explained to the technician about her disabilities. He was awesome with her! He continued to talk to her and let her help with everything. Basically keeping her thinking she was in control of what was going on. It was an overall much better experience than I expected. She also was going on 4 hours sleep like I was/am. That helped a lot too I am sure lol. I don't know the results yet but will update when I do. During the testing there were many times where it seemed that she was not hearing him talk to her she was really zoned out, but not confused. The other times she was very much into what was going on and what he was talking about and was saying yes to everything, like she always does lol. This evening was very very hard for her dad and I. She could not handle anything, she didn't know how to tell us what she needed or wanted, she cried constantly, didn't want to be put down, but we weren't holding her the correct way. It was one of those nights that I wish people could see what happens that think it is in my head.

That brings us to my little vent. You know I don't expect everyone to understand how we feel, or to give sympathy, but I can't stand that so many people want to doubt what I am doing and want to criticize us trying to get her help. So many people want to say oh she looks just fine, I didn't know you had to look a certain way to be sick? Since when do people have to look a certain way to have mental issues? Since when is it wrong to try to get my daughter the best possible chance at a normal life that I can? I know that a lot of people think that it makes people feel better when they say that there is nothing wrong with the children, but I can tell you it doesn't make me feel any better. To me it feels as if you are degrading what I am saying, it makes me feel as if you think that I am wanting my child to have an illness, or to need to see all of these therapists. My husband tells me not to listen to what others think, but that is easier said than done. I try so hard to not see the things that I see and to tell myself that she is getting better over night, but no matter how much I tell myself, I know that doesn't make it so. This is not directed at anyone in particular, this is just what happens sooo often. I guess it goes with the pregnancy questions and comments that just get under people's skin when others don't realize they are doing it. Like some people don't like their tummies touched when they are prego but so many come up and just touch away, others don't like to hear the phone call, you haven't popped yet, for the zillionth time, but people still do it not meaning to irritate anyone. No, I am not pregnant and those things didn't bother me, but I know many people that they did lol. Sorry for the frustrations, I just needed to get this off my chest.

If there is anyone reading this that wants to comment please feel free, I don't mind and I do publish them. You never know if your comment may touch someone's heart to make them feel not alone. Aloneness sucks. I know that God is with me all the time and that is not what I mean by "alone". I am referring to going through something and feeling as if others are not having the same emotions as you are.

Thanks for reading! Once again I appreciate everyone's prayers and God Bless everyone for caring and keeping up on my Kayt.