March 19, 2009

Today has definitely been a rough day for my little girl. Waking up in a great mood as usual, she comes out to me and just seems a little lost. It's kind of that I am happy because I am oblivious kind of happy. I make her some oatmeal for breakfast and she wants to be fed today, which she usually wants to do herself. We sit out in the living room in my chair (which also isn't usual, we usually sit at the table), and she is doing okay. I then go to give her another bite and she starts fussing and points at her drink. I show her the sign for drink and ask her to do the same. She started crying and got really upset, I then tried to give her the drink and she threw it down on the floor. After picking up her drink and trying to give it to her again, she pushes it away. The next thing I know her bottom lip sticks out and she gets this horribly sad look on her face and her lip starts to quiver and the tears start rolling. It broke my heart. There was no reason for it at all, the temper tantrum was for the drink and that was over. I put my arms around her just to help her feel more comfortable and loved. Once she is back to not crying she turns around in my lap and takes her drink as if nothing has happened. Our mealtime this morning went on with a bit of fussiness and fighting on her part, but we made it through. She had been really fussy and out of it earlier so I knew this was a bad day before we started. I think I will start calling them hard days because bad days just sounds so icky. She had therapy today as well and I made sure to pre-warn the therapist about Kaytlin having an off day today before she got here. Too much pressure and Kayt would have clammed up and that would have been it. Therapy was a little weird to say the least. Kaytlin has forgotten her animals and quite a few of other things. It felt like therapy from the beginning all over again. Her therapist luckily has been with us so long that she notices all of the things that I am talking about also. I am so thankful for her. I know she has Kaytlin's needs in her heart and mind as she does things with her. We are half way through the day and naptime is over so I better go and get her up. Oh and another thing Kaytlin is hooked on today is that she is repeating the last word of everything said. She looks so lost as she does this too, as if she doesn't get what you are saying. Her little brother climbs all over her today and she acts as if it isn't happening, normally she would be saying "Bubby" and laughing, today she acts as if it isn't happening at all. I wish someone could just fix it, make it all go away. I know I am doing the best for her and that as far as she knows everything is normal, however I know it isn't the best and that she could enjoy so much more if she didn't have these delays and sensitivities. I love you baby Kay.