What a wonderful day!! I hope this is a result of the hippotherapy! She has had a rough afternoon, but this morning was great. Thankfully it was our picture day and she just cheesed away. I am going to go get the pics off the online and post one. I am so proud of her!

My girl :)

This one was taken 5/30/08!!


This one was May 2009!

Today was still rough, but much nicer than yesterday. Today Kayt counted my fingers!! All the way to 5 it was great. She had a period where she was just wanting to learn so I took advantage of it! I am going to enjoy it in case it goes away since that does happen. I also learned how to use the sewing machine today! I can't wait to start making my ideas come to life. I have a few new ideas for sensory toys that I think will do great.

Quick funny story, we came home a few days ago and i stopped my car at the beginning of the driveway and got out to get the mail, well when I went to sit back in the car Kaytlin tells me, "Hurry up mommy, almost home." Most people prob wouldn't have understood her, but boy I did lol... It was soo funny. She is becoming awfully demanding lol

So today Kayt exibited a lot of things that she normally doesn't do. She has been very very fussy today, really ugly towards everyone. The trip to Wal Mart for my sewing machine was an absolute nightmare, usually it is bad, but this time it was just ugh. Everyone of course had to stare at us. Well anyway fast forward to my dads house and she was okay when we went in. She sat to eat her lunch and had leaned over the table and got ketchup all over the front of her. I went and cleaned her up as good as I could with a napkin and my stepmom went and got a wet washcloth. When she went to go clean Kayt up she pulled back and ran away, she got mad and was very withdrawn from her. Well my stepmom sat down and asked her to come to her and she finally just grabbed her and brought Kayt over and cleaned her up. Then we told her we were going to go outside, which she loves to ddo and she spreads her legs apart like she is peeing on herself and cries. I went over to get her and changed her and she wasn't wet everywhere. I mean her diaper needed changed but it definitely wasn't coming down her legs like she thought it was. So fastforward some more and we were on the front porch and after the kids were done with bubbles my stepmom cleaned Kayt up and was still holding the wash rag and leaned to give Kayt a hug and the wash rag touched her arm and Kaytlin jumped back really far and would not go near my step mom at all. She wouldn't give her a hug and kiss or anything. Then she cried about 1/2 the way home (20 min drive), and nothing I did was going to make her happy. It has just been a wow day.

I am going to learn to sew!! My step-mom is going to teach me to sew today! It is going to be the cheapest way for me to be able to get the things Kaytlin needs, well some of the things, and hopefully be able to sell some for a cheaper price to help out other moms in my predicament! I am so excited, okay I better get going I need to get dressed and go on over to dads.

Have a great day everyone!! My daughter decided to be up most of the night as usual, more incentive to get that blanket made!

My princess

So we were talking with the OT today at kaytlins therapy and she mentioned getting kayt ready to want to color and sit at a desk or stay on tasks along with other kids. I kinda laughed and said oh crap at the same time. Kaytlin likes a pen for a whole 2 minutes (thats being generous) she bores of them very very easy. She prefers blocks and more blocks, and babies that is about her extent of play, a little dress up here and there. I didn't realize we were supposed to start working on getting them into using crayons etc.. Kayt really doens't like it. Darn more worries.. Okay I totally should be posting this on the blog, that is what it is there for.. so I will copy it from here (MMT) and paste it on the blog.

I wish today would have went better. I fear it is too much for her, it was like she had taken a codein + tears (if there were such a pill) really really out of it.

I really hope I am not boring you guys, I honestly don't feel i have anyone that I can sit and talk all this nonsense through. If I hold it in it builds up and then I just get angry about things. I want to stay calm and open for Kayts sake. It is easy to feel saddness while she is n a regression faze, it is easy to feel tears running down my cheeks as I think of that beautiful gift from God, and to know that He believes in me soooo much that He was willing to give me someone who was special like Kaytlin, He trusted me as a mom to do what was best for Kayt. What a huge honor it is.

My daughter is one of the most loving and caring individuals to the best of her capabilities. She always is wanting to make people laugh or have one of us come tickle her. What a precious give that God had given me that I have a verbal autistic daughter so that I can hear the u2 words after I tell her I love her. I hurt for the moms whos children cannot say I love you mommy. I hurt for the other children like mine who don't understand what happened when they get hurt really bad and there is blood everywhere because of lack of pain. I feel sorrow that I did not do more for other kids with issues that need help, I could have volunteered, donated a little to Riley, something to help. I think my daughter is a way to remind me how important the simple things like hugs and kisses and personality are so easily lost in a child with autism. I am so thankful for not losing that, but hurt for my family and friends who have children that cannot speak. This thing is far uglier than I ever imagined. I never realized how much $ it takes to raise a child with special needs. Okay I will shut up guys. I am so sorry I am sure you are tired of me and tired of hearing about me.. It's bad enough what Katie is going through and I pray for Garrett all the time, and ask my readers to pray for him. He is such a trooper and he is so blessed to have Katie by his side as mommy, I cannot imagine what she is going through nor would I ever ask to be put in her shoes, but I do know the worrying about your own child and I definitely think keeping her in prayers has helped her continue to be strong, those leaps and bounds that Garrett is trampling right on over are proof enough to me that Kayt will stay strong and she will do what she has to do in order to get out there and be the best Kaytlin can be. My prayer is that she never gives up on herself.

Night guys, God Bless all of you. Once again sorry for rambling, I must go to bed.

I forgot to post about how Kayts afternoon went after hippo therapy. On the way home she was very quiet, but alert so I figured she ws just taking everything in. She got home and was fussy and then decided to fall off my bed and bust her mouth open, which she only whimpered. She had no clue it was really hurt till i started getting all the blood off. It was a deep gash. She ate and went dow for a nap about 230 and they were easy to convinvemself.
She was really drawn away from us and just really calm sensory seaking but not knowing what it is she needsPart of me is saun that a large wow factor i ther e When we pulled ijto the drivewau to kknow we might b

I have no idea what i was thinkingughh ambian has gotten me again ;( Goodnightlovely ladies.. I will learn how to sew and get a nice machine, th eproblem being dot letting mu imagination go ogerboard or i would desgn allof kayts clores llol okay spelling is getting bad, nust get in ned.. beob has baby duty fo rthe first 4 houjra I take it.. Yea time is tickem My main point taht Kaytl was very qhiney, over tired, wanted to sleep all day, didn't want to eat. went down for bed at 9 with no fuss

As hard as this is to ask, and as much as I have wanted to avoid this I am going to put a donate button on this page and anything that is sent I will send you an email or something showing what it went to. We now have to drive 1 hr each way to Kaytlin's occupational therapy every week and we have to drive 20 min each way to her speech therapy on a diff day. I need so much for her as she is getting older and I just don't know where I am supposed to get all this money to do all these things. I have no idea how moms have done it before and will do it after. I am so overwhelmed with all the expenses that there is no help for. We just miss qualifying for food stamps and luckily the kids are on medicaid. There is no way for me to work, I tried working on weekends only and of course kaytlin had a really hard time with me being gone so much. I did it for almost 3 months, and it didn't get better, her attitude got worse and she became more violent with her brother. I dont mind working somewhere on weekends since I have to take her to so much during the week plus the other 2 therapies that come to our house that there is no way to work all week.

Sorry about the babbling I am soooo overwhelmed with all these things it isn't even funny. Anyway if you can help it is greatly appreciated and will only be used for things Kayt needs and gas to and from appointments. I give my word it will not be used for anything else. I know there are a lot of scams out there, but I can promise you this is not one.

Okay I have someone working with me on getting the blanket done for Kayt. We are having issues with finding Barney material. I just want to make sure it is one that she will want and warm up to.

Keep praying for Garrett also please.. Big hugs Katie

What I need to do/get

I decided I need to make a list of what i need to get for Kayt. She will be going into preschool soon (developmental) and since we are a paycheck to paycheck family like oh 80% of america lol, I need to make a list and find things for as cheap as I can. If anyone finds any of these things for a reasonable price let me know! If you have one or some of the items and want to donate them to Kaytlin that would be great too. Just send me a message and I will email you our home address.

We need to get a weighted blanket to help with her sleeping issues. I have the lap pad, and she does snuggle it at night, but once winter gets here I am guessing we may be able to leave a weighted blanket on her and she will hopefully sleep better and not wake up freaked out.

Medical ID bracelett that indicates that she has autism with our cel #'s on it. She likes to get away from us.

Shoe ID tags.

weighted vest

sensory toys

trampoline that has the closures so she wont get hurt. Anything jumping, swinging, and spinning keeps my girl happy as a clam :)

Any other suggestions or ideas let me know!!

Okay are you guys ready for this?? I am just re-posting what I posted on My mommy time

Okay so she meets all the requirements to have an actual diagnosis of autism and not PDD-NOS which is a milder form of Autism (at least that's how I understand it). Her new doctor which is a developmental ped wants to wait one more year before putting the actual diagnosis on her paperwork so that "if" and that is a big "if" she does change for the better in the next year it won't be a miss diagnosis. I like that! It sucks in a way here though because I didn't think it would be actual Autism, but more of PDD-NOS. The doctor said she noticed the speech right away, wow, really lol.. Most docs don't, she is on it. Kaytlin showed everything while we were there, including getting scared of the paper towel machine. Sooo anyway we had to give like 6 vials of blood! They are doing genetic and MANY other things just to rule out anything medical in order to focus all on autism. My girl did so good today considering. She also gave a pee sample . You guys I don't think everything has set in, even after all this time. The doc did tell me it was nice speaking to a mom that was so well educated on it all That made me feel very good about that. She said that on top of the developmental pre-school she wants Kayt to be in other things also. Just please pray we get the SSI soon because finances suck big time, and working didn't work at all. Kayt got worse when I was working on weekends. Anyway so there we have it, my kid has autism. hmmm nope don't like the sound of it. Okay I will quit rambling. TTYL..

Okay wow, I got some very exciting news today. So if anyone knows me they know that my sister and I have gone through some rough spots in our friendship with each other. Well we started talking the other day again after about 3 years. Well after seeing her kids with mine we both started to realize that Kaytlin and her daughter Ashley are just about exactly alike. They both have the same tendencies and hard time understanding and learning things. This is huge for me, I was so excited to see that this is in our family and I have someone else to relate to everything, and that someone else is my sister! How awesome is that?? So anyway as soon as my sister leaves today my phone rings. I picked it up and it was the developmental pediatrics at Riley Hospital. They are the ones that were going to do Kaytlin's medical evaluation. Well they said that the doctor could not see Kaytlin on December 9th because that doctor will not be there. They asked if we would be willing to change her appointment to tomorrow! Well, of course I would be willing!! Are you kidding, I just found out that things are not in my head and this is hereditary on my side of the family. Some people may think I am strange for being happy about this, but I have gone through a lot of self doubt. God is soooo good. I was so excited and just couldn't believe that this may be the end to all of the questioning. It is not a coinsidence for these things to fall one thing after another like this. All I could do was thank God and be soooo excited! Keep us n your prayers tomorrow, her appointment is at 10am and her phsycologist will be meeting us there.

Oh my goodness these night time freaking out episodes only seem to be coming more and more frequent. When I read about night terrors, it seems that it is similar, aside from the fact that she is coherent when we get to her, she is usually sitting up in the corner of her bed freaking out and either runs to me when I open the door or throws her arms around me and is still trying to catch her breath after she is back asleep. Rob (my hubby) got to witness it first hand last night. I was in the other room and when I came out she was asleep in his arms trying to catch her breath. It is so heartbreaking, especially when you hear that first scream. It is like straight out of a horror show. My sleep time at night seems to be getting shorter and shorter. Been up since 3am with the kids again. Okay I am done, just wanted to write down what happened last night.

Well we have an appointment on September 9th for Kaytlin to get her review for SSI. Because we haven't been able to get into the docs for the official medical diagnosis the SSI office wants their own doc to review.

I also got a call yesterday and her official medical review will be December 9th. It is so bittersweet. I mean yes I want the waiting to be over, no I don't want it definite. When it isn't an official diagnosis you still have that thought in your head that maybe everything will be different tomorrow morning. Denial I think it is called.. Unfortunately I see every day how she is in fact about 6months+ behind now. It is hard when there are things like physical that she is advanced you know.

I met someone today that didn't even know about First Steps. Maybe, just maybe God has given me Kaytlin so that I can reach out to other parents and let them know about First Steps and that they should follow their guts, as I have always said, it never hurts to get your child evaluated especially if your gut is telling you that something is not right.

Hey guys. Well life is getting quite stressful with Kaytlin lately. It seems that no matter what we do it seems to be more and more stressful around here. I am sure everyone is saying oh that is just her being at that age, but imagine horrible 2's and having a developmental delay on top of it, and the fact that she doesn't comprehend the discipline makes it even more rough.

We were at the docs yesterday (Rob and I), and there was a little girl who will be 2 in November, and her mannerisms were exactly like Kaytlin's. I felt like I was watching Kaytlin in a younger body. I was laughing sooo hard, I was wishing Kayt would have been with us because she would have been so fun.

Kaytlin is now so terrified of the vacuum that when I opened the closet it is in yesterday to get her blocks out she saw it pointed and ran crying to the couch. It used to be that she could get her blocks etc out of there and it didn't bother her. I feel so bad for her. We even tried to buy a toy vacuum and couldn't even put it in the cart at wal mart!