So we were talking with the OT today at kaytlins therapy and she mentioned getting kayt ready to want to color and sit at a desk or stay on tasks along with other kids. I kinda laughed and said oh crap at the same time. Kaytlin likes a pen for a whole 2 minutes (thats being generous) she bores of them very very easy. She prefers blocks and more blocks, and babies that is about her extent of play, a little dress up here and there. I didn't realize we were supposed to start working on getting them into using crayons etc.. Kayt really doens't like it. Darn more worries.. Okay I totally should be posting this on the blog, that is what it is there for.. so I will copy it from here (MMT) and paste it on the blog.

I wish today would have went better. I fear it is too much for her, it was like she had taken a codein + tears (if there were such a pill) really really out of it.

I really hope I am not boring you guys, I honestly don't feel i have anyone that I can sit and talk all this nonsense through. If I hold it in it builds up and then I just get angry about things. I want to stay calm and open for Kayts sake. It is easy to feel saddness while she is n a regression faze, it is easy to feel tears running down my cheeks as I think of that beautiful gift from God, and to know that He believes in me soooo much that He was willing to give me someone who was special like Kaytlin, He trusted me as a mom to do what was best for Kayt. What a huge honor it is.

My daughter is one of the most loving and caring individuals to the best of her capabilities. She always is wanting to make people laugh or have one of us come tickle her. What a precious give that God had given me that I have a verbal autistic daughter so that I can hear the u2 words after I tell her I love her. I hurt for the moms whos children cannot say I love you mommy. I hurt for the other children like mine who don't understand what happened when they get hurt really bad and there is blood everywhere because of lack of pain. I feel sorrow that I did not do more for other kids with issues that need help, I could have volunteered, donated a little to Riley, something to help. I think my daughter is a way to remind me how important the simple things like hugs and kisses and personality are so easily lost in a child with autism. I am so thankful for not losing that, but hurt for my family and friends who have children that cannot speak. This thing is far uglier than I ever imagined. I never realized how much $ it takes to raise a child with special needs. Okay I will shut up guys. I am so sorry I am sure you are tired of me and tired of hearing about me.. It's bad enough what Katie is going through and I pray for Garrett all the time, and ask my readers to pray for him. He is such a trooper and he is so blessed to have Katie by his side as mommy, I cannot imagine what she is going through nor would I ever ask to be put in her shoes, but I do know the worrying about your own child and I definitely think keeping her in prayers has helped her continue to be strong, those leaps and bounds that Garrett is trampling right on over are proof enough to me that Kayt will stay strong and she will do what she has to do in order to get out there and be the best Kaytlin can be. My prayer is that she never gives up on herself.

Night guys, God Bless all of you. Once again sorry for rambling, I must go to bed.